"I'm gonna sit in the middle, hang my feet off the edge...."

I left work the other evening and is what I saw from the parking lot.  I could NOT drive away.  The rainbow was perfect, so I stared at it and remembered a few important things.





#1) I remembered this song:

Why this one?  Because, if you listen to the lyrics...it's perfect for me.  Think of 'me', the writer and 'you' would be my readers.  Plus, I've always loved rainbows!

#2) I realized that rainbows follow storms.  I've been struggling with a lot lately, but seeing that reminded me it's all going to be okay.  I'm going to be okay.  And I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.

So, if you're going through your own storm right now, or face one someday, please feel free to remember this picture and know that a rainbow is in your future!!!

I Love Everybody...and You're Next

So, apparently, I'm in the midst of a loyalty battle.  Well, after reading Sera Rivers very persuasive blog with a really great title: Mingling Panties, I had to get involved.  I started it after all.  And yes, I did it to feed my own ego...and get a laugh out of Sera.

So, let's look at the facts.  Sera and I are both REALLY social people.  We both bring out the best writing in each other.  And very few people understand us, even if we are rather entertaining to be around.  And that makes our relationship so special and unique.

But I DO get scared, too ya know.  I love everybody...not everyone can handle that.  And sometimes I push people away.  Even while I'm hugging you close.

NYC-WE HAVE ARRIVED!!!!!!

But, somehow, Sera, my dear, you've blown up any walls I may have tried to build.  You've blasted through so many of my damned issues that I should hate you....but I don't.  I love ya and even when I am famous before you, I won't ever forget that.  And I will NOT let you forget me.

Why Do I Do That?

"The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear. 

The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer. 

So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too hard and it's a waste of my time. 

Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere. 

They don't like my jeans; they don't get my hair. 

Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time. 

Why do we do that? Why do I do that? 

Why do I do that? "

-Pink, "Effin' Perfect"

Do you ever see people driving around in their cars, music rippin' and the fool is screaming the lyrics as if she wrote them?

Yeah?

That'd be ME!!!

I can't say how many stares, glares and cheers I've gotten over the years.  But you know what?  I DON'T CARE!!!

Right now, Pink's song "Perfect" is one of my most listened to songs...(this poses a problem when my critters are in the car, but they're so good they know to skip it because of the frequent F-bombs).

And I love the quote I posted above...and I frequently ask myself "WHY DO I DO THAT?"

I mean, why do I let other people get me down?

Why do I take stuff SO personally?

And finally, why do I have to respond DYSFUNCTIONALLY????

I'd really expect at my age, with my experience, I'd be better at relating to other people.  And for the most part I do.  But there's always that reminder, I have some work to do.  Just when I think I have it all together, something totally throws me.  

And I act like an idiot.

So, if I've been an idiot to you lately, I'm sorry.  I'm trying to get back to the ME I want to be.  I'm trying AGAIN to unlearn all the bad habits that have found their way back into my life.

To those who've been helping me (you know who you are!), THANK YOU for being kind, patient and understanding.

I'm a stubborn perfectionist who thinks I have to handle it all on my own.  But I can't, I'm learning again.  And probably will need to continue to do so.

And more than likely, I'll ask myself again: WHY DO I DO THAT?

Book Review: The Hospital at The End of The World

The Hospital at the End of the World 

by

Joe Niemczura, R.N., MS

There are 2,600 hospitals in Asia, Africa and South America which could be classified as "Mission Hospitals" - far off the beaten path, providing basic medical service to the poorest people of the world. The Hospital at the End of the World tells the story of a nurse from the USA and his first experience as a teaching nurse in Nepal. 





Because this book is non-fiction, I'm reviewing it in a manner different from fiction.  It will be in a discussion form versus actual critique of components.




Shortly after my first Nursing Relief trip to post-earthquake Haiti, I found myself searching for ways to integrate all that I brought home.  I had pictures, memories, thoughts, but most importantly, emotions.  I didn't know any other nurse who had traveled to a third world country to provide nursing care.  And even though I was only in Haiti for a week, it was still life and career altering. 


At the time, I was writing a blog at  Advance for Nurses and another blogger interviewed  Joe Niemczura R.N., MS regarding his advice for nurses doing just what I did!  (The blog has since been taken down, otherwise I'd link to it.)   Right away, I bought the book and read it as fast as I could.  I also contacted Joe who took a lot of his personal time talking with me. And I will forever be grateful for that.  He truly restored my love of nursing...


I found The Hospital at the End of The World to be a satisfying read.  It was conversational enough for non-medical readers and yet interesting to me as a nurse.  The one factor that separates it from other nursing memoirs is Joe's truth in emotion.  He shares secrets of coping with the ups and downs, many that I didn't even know I used.  He's open, honest and real about the struggles nurses face every day-whether in a third world country or in our homeland.  


The structure and writing isn't perfect, but the readability of Joe's voice usurped any of that, at least for me.  I tagged many pages that moved me and return to read them when I need to.  Overall, I'd give this book 4 out of 5 stars.


In conclusion, I'd like to share one of my favorite paragraphs as an example of what I mean: 

"When people choose their life work, they all have a vision or fantasy about what they will be doing when they are at work.  It's a way to write the script of your life, which validates your self image and helps you keep going.  We all have these scripts whether we know it or not.  I had a pretty straightforward idea of who I was and why I was working in healthcare.  For me, the daydream that sustained me was one in which I was the person who worked hard to protect and rescue helpless people."

Thank you Joe, for putting it all out there.  I can't wait to hear about your upcoming 2011 trip.

And if anyone is interested in more information, please LIKE his Facebook page, where you can find pictures, videos and SO much more.