Thursday, July 23, 2009

A Million Pieces

My mind has been blown to bits. It's nothing new, really. I think I am just sick of it. Every day I tell myself upon waking that today will be different. But it's not. By 4pm, I feel that I have accomplished nothing, even when everything is neatly in place.

What is strangling me? I've been asking myself this since April. I have yet to get an answer.

Why am I so freaking scattered? I used to like it. Now I find it exhausting.

How do I change?

Do I even want to?

Am I asking too many questions?

Yes, I think that is the problem. I feel like I am in limbo, stuck in a canyon. Maybe I have too many choices. Or maybe my world has grown too big.

Days are going by too fast. My life is moving forward, but I am stuck wondering what it is that I am looking for and no one to tell me.

Living in the now is very enjoyable-to a point. Just as soon as I begin to plan again, I feel interrupted. I must take control, but I am too tired to battle.

I guess a vacation is in order. I'm happy it's coming next week. In June, I realized a lot of things. Maybe in August I can start to live them.

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