"The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear.
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer.
So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too hard and it's a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere.
They don't like my jeans; they don't get my hair.
Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time.
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?
Why do I do that? "
-Pink, "Effin' Perfect"
Do you ever see people driving around in their cars, music rippin' and the fool is screaming the lyrics as if she wrote them?
That'd be ME!!!
I can't say how many stares, glares and cheers I've gotten over the years. But you know what? I DON'T CARE!!!
Right now, Pink's song "Perfect" is one of my most listened to songs...(this poses a problem when my critters are in the car, but they're so good they know to skip it because of the frequent F-bombs).
And I love the quote I posted above...and I frequently ask myself "WHY DO I DO THAT?"
I mean, why do I let other people get me down?
Why do I take stuff SO personally?
And finally, why do I have to respond DYSFUNCTIONALLY????
I'd really expect at my age, with my experience, I'd be better at relating to other people. And for the most part I do. But there's always that reminder, I have some work to do. Just when I think I have it all together, something totally throws me.
And I act like an idiot.
So, if I've been an idiot to you lately, I'm sorry. I'm trying to get back to the ME I want to be. I'm trying AGAIN to unlearn all the bad habits that have found their way back into my life.
To those who've been helping me (you know who you are!), THANK YOU for being kind, patient and understanding.
I'm a stubborn perfectionist who thinks I have to handle it all on my own. But I can't, I'm learning again. And probably will need to continue to do so.
And more than likely, I'll ask myself again: WHY DO I DO THAT?