Crisis or Quest....

My Inspiration for The Quest

I recently had a friend ask me, "Are you going through a midlife crisis?"

I let the question linger in my head for a long time.

And then, thanks to my friend Sera Rivers (she writes a blog for them) I stumbled across a Psychology Today article:
"What a Female Mid-Life Crisis Looks Like".

I read it.  Bookmarked it (on my phone!) and read it a thousand times.

Now, the thing is, I'm YOUNG-no where near mid-life...at least I hope not. I mean this stuff doesn't usually happen until someone's in their forties, right? (And shush, you people who know my real age!  I'm NOT THAT CLOSE!!)

But, I started early, according to modern timelines: college right out of high school; marriage, child and career right out of college. Yeah, I moved fast in my twenties, making gains most adults today won't even consider until closer to thirty.  So, I guess it makes sense that I'd need to re-eval my life earlier than most.

In truth, it started about the time my father died.  July 13, 2004.  He was only 61.  I had just turned 30-an age I dreaded most of my twenties.

Another big turn came four years later when my youngest started school.  Suddenly, I was alone for hours at a time, with absolutely no direction.  I figured I'd find my way eventually, but I didn't-until last year.

All this time, I'd been writing.  I knew it was going to take me somewhere.  But in my mind, I was wasting time, producing something that was a total "what if."  Then, my attitude shifted via life events: my trip to Haiti and multiple writer's conferences to name a few.

I began seeking change in earnest.  I explored opportunities that had potential to take me somewhere.  Some did, some didn't.  I tried on different roles and discarded parts of myself I no longer needed.

I started a QUEST for a new, better me.

The CRISIS part was the reaction from everyone around me-friends, family, etc.

Today, I'm nowhere near complete.  I'm still QUESTING, creating CRISIS along the way.  But, that's who I am, I guess: a fire-starter, a rabble rouser, and a trouble maker.  I can't be happy being anything less. No, I take that back!  I WON'T be happy with anything less.