Monday, August 24, 2009

Breaking me out of the spell I was in....

This weekend, my husband and I were listening to the radio. A countdown was on from 1981. I wasn't a teen then, not even close! I was actually 7, but this song brought me right back to being young, family life, and the vague emotions that accompany those memories; the times that led up to my teen years.

And those are the feelings I write about. It helps me to understand them. It inspires me to keep creating.

So many times I think that I write for nothing. That no one is going to care about some girl that I create from the depths of my soul. And then I remember...for once, it's not about anyone else. It's about me. I need this. I want this. And if I'm fortunate enough to be able to share it someday, I will be one of the lucky ones.

Many times throughout my life, I have been labeled "brave". Yes, I use the term 'labeled' because that is not how I see myself at all. What is brave about wanting to speak and be heard? What is brave about baring your soul? I find it all a little selfish. Helping others helps me feel good. And to me, no amount of knowledge can compare to real life experience.

And now that I have broken out of my spell, I feel more free than ever. When I write, I feeling like I am walking on air. I will probably never be a great American hero, wearing a cape and flying, but at least I can create my own endings. And maybe, just maybe, they might matter to someone else.

But until then, I'll just keep writing because I can!

Old English vocab word of the blog:

Plebian: n. (in ancient Rome) a commoner; a member of the lower social classes

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