I Don't WANT to grow up....

For research, I started watching The Secret Life of An American Teenager. It's not the greatest acting in the world, but it's good enough for me. The self-centered nature of teens is portrayed well, as is the setting. It really makes me wish my life was scripted, because the characters always know the perfect thing to say. That part makes it totally unbelievable, because teens can't POSSIBLY be that could at communicating with each other, not to mention their parents.

Maybe that's why I love to write. I want characters who don't know what to say. Characters who are just as lost as I am. Life is SO not scripted, so why should my book? I've had people say that readers want fiction to escape the reality of life. But then in another breath, fiction has to be plausible. My plausibility stems from making mistakes, saying the wrong things and interpreting what has NOT been said, and NOT having a happy ending. I'd love to read a book that is like that. Any suggestions anyone?

This morning, I watched the finale of The Secret Life. Honestly, I sobbed. The right music can do that to me. But it was more than that. Amy had her baby..and yes, it brought me back to when my were children born. The celebration of a new life is the greatest blessing that anyone can experience. And then, there's the first year...all of the firsts, really..that are celebrated every step of the way.

But what happens once you are all grown up? What's left to celebrate? I'm 35 now. College is a distant memory, as is my wedding. Each day, my kids are growing, developing and accomplishing their own things. But what about me? Is it adolescent of me to want to celebrate me? Is that what makes people so bitter as they age? (I know, not everyone is bitter as they age, but that's what I fear the most for me.) And, if I want to celebrate me, what is worth celebrating?

And that's why I don't want to grow up. I don't ever want to stop celebrating life, it's just getting a lot harder to find new firsts. It's not that I've done everything there is to do, but people look at me funny when I want to celebrate anything. It's like I'm being told to grow up, there's nothing left to be so happy about. But I am happy and proud, too....and I want the world to know it. So, if that's what it takes...the no..I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP! Anyone willing to stay young with me?